“Are you filing for divorce?”
“I don't know.”
“Do you want me to come home after Boston?”
“I don't know.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
I almost said:
Not my problem.
Instead:
“Your sister.”
“Hotel.”
“Apartment.”
“We can figure logistics when we’re home.”
“I don't think you should move directly back into our bedroom.”
Rebecca nodded slowly.
“I understand.”
I walked away.
Then stopped.
“Rebecca.”
She looked up.
“When you talk to Curtis, do not ask him to forgive you.”
“Do not ask him to understand.”
“Do not tell him adult details.”
“And don't tell him I am keeping you from him.”
“I won't.”
“Good.”
At the room, Sophie was devastated when I said we were leaving early.
“But Mom promised pastries.”
“I know.”
“She has work.”
“But today is Friday.”
“I know.”
She looked toward Curtis.
“Why are you weird too?”
Curtis stared at the carpet.
I knelt.
“Sweetheart, Mom and I have a grown-up problem we need to work on.”
Her eyes widened.
“Are you getting divorced?”
Children hear everything.
I took her hands.
“I don't know.”
“Did Mom do something?”
“Yes.”
“What?”
I chose carefully.
“Mom broke an important promise between us.”
Sophie stared.
“What promise?”
“A marriage promise.”
She looked frightened.
“Did she stop loving us?”
“No.”
Immediate.
Certain.
“No.”
“Nothing about this means Mom stopped loving you or Curtis.”
“Then why are we leaving?”
“Because sometimes grown-ups need space to make good decisions when they are hurt.”
Sophie’s eyes filled.
“I don't want space.”
I hugged her.
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
She cried against me.
Curtis looked away.
I did too.
Rebecca came to the airport.
She hugged Sophie for a long time.
Sophie asked:
“Did you break a marriage promise?”
Rebecca looked at me.
I said nothing.
This had to be hers.
Rebecca knelt.
“Yes.”
Sophie frowned.
“Why?”
Rebecca’s face crumpled.
“Because I made a selfish choice.”
“Are you sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Then can't Dad forgive you?”
There it was.
Ten-year-old logic.
Sorry.
Forgive.
Repair complete.
Rebecca looked at me again.
Then back at Sophie.
“Sometimes being sorry is the beginning.”
“It doesn't make everything fixed right away.”
Sophie started crying.
Rebecca hugged her.
“I love you.”
“I love you more than anything.”
Sophie whispered:
“I’m mad at you.”
Rebecca closed her eyes.
“You're allowed.”
Curtis stood several feet away.
Rebecca approached him.
“Can I hug you?”
He hesitated.
Then nodded once.
She hugged him.
His arms remained at his sides at first.
Then one lifted slightly.
When she let go, she said:
“I am sorry.”
Curtis looked at her.
“You lied to us.”
“Yes.”
“Dad told me he isn't going to give me details.”
Rebecca nodded.