Tessa answered quickly. “Never.” “Did you ask Adrian to leave me?” “Not directly.” “What does indirectly look like?”
Tessa swallowed. “I asked what he thought his life would look like in a year. I asked whether he was happy. I said I didn’t want to be a secret forever.” Nicole leaned back.
There it was. The future tense Adrian had omitted. “Did he tell you he might leave?” “He said he didn’t know.” That answer hurt more than a clean lie would have.
Adrian had not promised Tessa a divorce, but he had kept the possibility warm. He had let another woman imagine a future built partly from Nicole’s removal while coming home every night to the marriage he claimed he was not prepared to leave. Tessa started crying before Nicole did. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know that’s worthless.”
“It’s not worthless,” Nicole replied. “It’s just insufficient.” Tessa nodded, tears slipping down her face. Nicole asked one last question. “Why did you do it if you knew about me?”
The answer was not flattering enough to be dramatic.
Tessa had been lonely after ending an engagement two years earlier. Adrian was kind to her at work, then emotionally available in private. They were both stressed. They crossed a line and then used the fact that the line had already been crossed as permission to cross it again. Tessa said she told herself Nicole probably knew the marriage was weak. She told herself married people who were happy did not have affairs.
Nicole almost laughed. “That’s convenient theology.” Tessa looked ashamed. “I know.” Nicole left without forgiving her and without needing to hate her permanently.