Stayed with Marcus’s brother.
The wedding was Saturday at a renovated estate outside the city.
I knew Emily might be invited.
Marcus’s fiancée was still friendly with her.
I asked once.
“Is Emily coming?”
Marcus looked uncomfortable.
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“You good?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to…”
“No.”
“It’s your wedding.”
“Do not alter your guest list because of me.”
Saturday evening, I saw Emily during cocktail hour.
She looked good.
Not disheveled.
Not ruined.
That matters because my life did not become better by requiring hers to look terrible.
She wore a dark blue dress.
Hair shorter.
Thinner than before.
She saw me almost immediately.
For twenty minutes, we both avoided the obvious.
Then I went to the bar.
She approached.
“Alex.”
I turned.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Awkward silence.
Then she smiled.
“You look different.”
“So do you.”
“Europe.”
I laughed.
“Mostly bicycle transportation.”
She nodded.
“I heard about the promotion.”
“Thanks.”
“I really am happy for you.”
“I appreciate that.”
She looked around.
“Can we talk somewhere quieter?”
I hesitated.
Then:
“For five minutes.”
We walked toward a side terrace.
String lights overhead.
Music inside.
Guests laughing.
Emily leaned against the railing.
“I’m nervous.”
“I noticed.”
She smiled faintly.
“Still observant.”
Then her expression became serious.
“I owe you an apology that isn't an email.”
“You already apologized.”
“I know.”
“But I want to say it.”
I waited.
“I treated your stability like something embarrassing once I started craving excitement.”
“You supported me when I had nothing together.”
“Then when I finally felt better about myself, I started looking down on the exact things that helped me get there.”
Her eyes filled slightly.
“I did emotionally cheat with Jake.”
“Before we broke up.”
“I told myself it wasn't cheating because we hadn't kissed.”
“But I was giving him intimacy I stopped giving you.”
I nodded.
“Yes.”
Emily swallowed.
“I called you insecure because if you were insecure, then I didn't have to be dishonest.”
That one hurt even after two years.
Not because it was new.
Because hearing the exact truth always has weight.
She continued.
“I’m sorry.”
“Truly.”
“I accept the apology.”
She looked relieved.
Then:
“Are you happy?”
“Yes.”
“In Amsterdam?”
“Yes.”
“With someone?”
I paused.
“Yes.”
Her face changed.
Tiny.
Then she nodded.
“Good.”
I appreciated that.
She looked toward the reception hall.
“I thought about moving there after you left.”
“Amsterdam?”
“Yes.”
“I almost applied for a job.”
“Why didn't you?”